Questions

Will I get accepted to the sex cult?

Babe, can Tiger Woods golf with a dry dick? No. But that shouldn’t stop you from applying, we’d love to reject you.

How many tigers do you have?

This comes up a lot, so much that we made a page for it -the answer is no.

Can I give you all my money?

Of Course! But it will not improve your chances of sex cult admittance.

I got rejected from the sex cult, what do I do now?

Please review the sure rejections page for some ideas

Some women say I’m too tall and too muscular to be desirable, do looks matter when applying?

These women sound very rude, have you tried men?

The application does not ask for a photo or description of what you look like – if there’s anything we’ve learned from the comments on porn, whatever you got going on, someone is so into it you should honestly be terrified.

Where is the Sex Cult Compound?

Right now the current sex cult members can’t come to an agreement, it’s a three way tie for mountain compound, beach compound, or desert compound. We almost settled on Big Sur (moutnainy and beach) but desert votes would not hear of it.

I’m already in a sex cult, can I still join this one?

Well, you can apply.

What if all my assets are on the low side?

Even if all you have to your name is an airstream filled with Princess Diana beanie babies we still welcome you to apply.

I know you reject every applicant, but I still have hope in my heart. Is it justified?

Look, we never want to take away hope. The sweet little baby jesus gave the Baja Men a grammy, who are we to say what’s possible? Keep that hope alive, babe.